


No Time for Goodbyes (didn't get to apologize)

by asexualjuliet



Series: The Words I Most Regret (are the ones I never meant to leave) [4]
Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: And He Gets One!, Crying, Dick Casablancas needs a hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, He had so much potential okay..., He was objectively an asshole but such an interesting character to explore after Not Pictured, I will die mad about it, Logan Echolls is a good friend, So much wasted potential!!!, Underage Drinking, cant stop writing about this piece of trash garbage boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:08:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27150881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asexualjuliet/pseuds/asexualjuliet
Summary: Dick pulls away; wipes his eyes on his sweatshirt sleeve.“I wish it was me,” he says, and Logan shakes his head.“Don’t say that,” he says. Dick just shrugs; lets another sob past his lips.“I miss him,” he says, words strangled. Logan nods.“I know.”“I wish I didn’t.”“I know.”Or, yet another fic about Dick Casablancas mourning his little brother.
Relationships: Dick Casablancas & Logan Echolls
Series: The Words I Most Regret (are the ones I never meant to leave) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1982077
Comments: 7
Kudos: 7





	No Time for Goodbyes (didn't get to apologize)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [broadway_hufflepuff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/broadway_hufflepuff/gifts).



> I wasn't gonna finish this but Mary bullied me into it so here it is.
> 
> The working title for this was "girls don’t want boys girls want a fleshed out narrative arc focusing on Dick Casablancas and his trauma"
> 
> TW for mentioned vomiting, nothing in detail though.
> 
> Title from "Unsaid Emily" from Julie and the Phantoms because it's been living in my head rent-free for the last two days.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

They have a routine. 

They wake up; go to class. Logan hangs out with Veronica; Dick goes back to the suite and gets wasted. Logan comes home; finds Dick drunk off his ass; makes sure he doesn’t drink himself to death. They go to sleep, wake up, and do the whole thing over again. 

It’s a shitty little routine, but it’s theirs, and they make it work. 

Dick’s oddly coherent when Logan gets home; staring straight at the TV as if he didn’t even notice Logan come in. 

“Dude, you good?” Logan asks. Dick says nothing, concentration on the TV unbroken. 

Logan makes his way to the couch, sitting down beside Dick and letting his gaze find its way to the television. 

It’s the same channel that shitty documentary about his dad had played on just about every hour during the trial. But this time, it’s not _The Aaron Echolls Story,_ or whatever the fuck. 

It’s _Cassidy._

The photo on the screen puts a sick feeling in Logan’s stomach. In it, Cassidy’s maybe nine, wearing a little league uniform and a huge smile. Looking back, Logan can barely remember the little boy he was. 

He looks over at Dick, eyes glued to the screen. He’s very clearly dealing with some shit, and Logan doesn’t quite know what to do. He just reaches for the remote control and turns off the TV. 

“Are you okay?” he asks hesitantly. Dick looks up, anger in his eyes. 

“I’m fucking _fine,”_ he insists, taking a swig from the nearest can of beer. 

“Dick—”

“Fuck off,” he says, and Logan raises up his hands in mock surrender. 

“If you drink yourself to death, don’t fucking blame me,” he says. 

Dick flips him the bird, and as Logan leaves the room, he can’t help but feel he handled the situation very poorly. 

-

As predicted, Dick is puking up the night’s liquor by three in the morning. Logan spends all of five seconds trying to get back to sleep before sighing and getting up. 

“Fuck off!” says Dick when Logan knocks on the bathroom door. 

“Someone’s gotta make sure you don’t choke on your own vomit,” Logan calls back. Dick responds with another retch. Logan sighs and opens the door. 

“Fuck _off,”_ Dick says again, but the _do not fuck with me_ vibe he’s going for is noticeably undermined by the weak crack of his voice, the way his arms are visibly shaking, and _literally_ everything else about the situation. 

“No can do,” says Logan, beginning to search the medicine cabinet for some Advil to help with the headache Dick’s definitely nursing. He knows for a fact that neither of them think anything through enough to have actually ever purchased any medicine, but DK was thoughtful enough for that shit, and he didn’t quite have the time to clean out his room before fleeing the fucking country. 

Sure enough, Logan’s search turns up a half-full bottle of Tylenol, and he empties two pills into his palm before filling up a cup of water and sitting down next to Dick. 

“Drink up,” Logan says, holding out the cup and pills to Dick, who’s looking up at him with bleary eyes. 

“Do you not understand what _fuck off_ means?” he says. Logan smirks. 

“You’re stuck with me, asshole,” he says, and Dick reluctantly takes the pills from his outstretched palm, downing them in one gulp. 

“Dumbass,” Logan mumbles. Dick gives him the finger, but there’s a slight smile on his face and Logan can tell he’s not really mad. 

Silence stretches out between them. 

“It’s okay that you miss him,” Logan says, after a minute or so. He sees Dick’s shoulders tense; sees his jaw tighten, and he almost regrets bringing it up at all. Before he can open his mouth to apologize, Dick cuts in. 

“You know what’s fucked up?” he asks quietly, with a look in his eyes that Logan can’t quite decode. 

“I—”

“He lost his virginity before any of us,” he says, and Logan feels a pang in his chest.

“Dick—” he starts, but Dick cuts him off. 

“It’s fucked up, right?” he asks again. “Fuckin’ Beav— _Cassidy_ lost his virginity before us. That’s _so_ fucked up.”

Logan doesn’t know what to say. Dick leans back against the shower and hugs his knees. 

“I gave him so much shit for—for being a prude or a virgin or whatever the fuck,” he says, not meeting Logan’s eyes. “Set him up with all these girls even though I thought he might—thought he might be queer. I just—” he breaks off in a sob. 

“I was so fucking _mean_ to him,” he chokes, and Logan swears he can almost _feel_ his heart break as more tears start to roll down Dick’s face. 

“C’mere,” he says softly, and before Dick can respond, Logan wraps him in a hug. 

Sobs wrack Dick’s body; Logan can feel him shaking as he buries his face in his sweatshirt. 

“It was my _fault,”_ Logan hears him manage in between sobs, and he just shakes his head. 

“No way, man,” he says. “No way.”

“I should’ve _noticed,”_ Dick sobs. “I should’ve—”

“He didn’t want you to,” Logan tries. “He didn’t want anyone to.”

“He was my _brother._ He—” Dick starts, dissolving into sobs so violent that he can’t finish the thought. 

“It’s gonna be okay,” Logan says, but the words are hollow. Because _yeah,_ things are okay for _Logan_ now, even after his dad turned out to be a murderer and then got himself shot, but that’s only because his dad was a fucking asshole. Cassidy was…

Cassidy was a good kid. Logan knows he was a murderer, knows he was a rapist, but he can’t quite equate that kid with the one he knew, and he knows Dick can’t either. 

Cassidy was good in a way that Neptune simply couldn’t comprehend. Logan wonders if that’s why the universe felt the need to fuck him up so bad. Because Neptune cannot house the truly good. It killed Meg. It ruined Cassidy. It fucked over every person who lived there. 

“It wasn’t your fault, man,” Logan says. 

Dick pulls away; wipes his eyes on his sweatshirt sleeve. 

“I wish it was me,” he says, and Logan shakes his head. 

“Don’t say that,” he says. Dick just shrugs; lets another sob past his lips. 

“I miss him,” he says, words strangled. Logan nods. 

“I know.”

“I wish I didn’t.”

“I know.”

“This is so fucked up,” he says. 

Logan finds himself scooting across the floor to sit next to Dick. Dick rests his head on Logan’s shoulder. 

Yeah, it’s fucked up. 

But they’ll get through it. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> All mistakes are my own, please let me know if you see any!
> 
> Kudos/Comments are greatly appreciated!


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